I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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