hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
