The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
