Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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