are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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