i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Randomize
