How'd it feel making her break her religion?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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