PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Randomize