Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize