Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
