Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
