She said her name was "party"
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!