I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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