No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.