thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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