What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
