5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize