why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
