im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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