Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
