I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
