Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
