Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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