Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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