What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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