I like my sex mixed with concussions.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
