Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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