just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Farmville is her only friend.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
