If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I didn't notice because vodka
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
