that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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