God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
