watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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