i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
The air taste purple.
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