I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
