last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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