So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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