I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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