You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
