omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
