I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
