sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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