I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
