And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
