Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize