ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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