my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
