He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
