Can Purell be used as lube?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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