I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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