Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
