If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
