3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
