I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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