Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
