he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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