i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
