I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Randomize