Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
