Porn is love you can see.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
