How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
