yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
