Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I FOUND THE LEGS
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
