he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
