i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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