I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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