i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
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