i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
