Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
