normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
