the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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