I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
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