that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
