ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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