everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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