That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Randomize
