Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
