for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
it's great music for shaving your balls
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
