it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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